I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
