He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
