There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
