I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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