Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
dude i'm inner monologue high
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
