i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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