i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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