I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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