No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
