how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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