is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
