I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
