is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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