I'd wear matching sweaters with you
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
