Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
