There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
