All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
