I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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