We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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