I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
