We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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