How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
