Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
