We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
