I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
