from now on my penis is your penis
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
