I love black thongs
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
