i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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