i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He shit in the fireplace
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
