I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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