IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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