I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
