imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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