i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
