'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
