I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
