at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Are we still banned from the library?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
