Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
