And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
