Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Dignity is for republicans.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
