wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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