We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
