Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
