wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
