this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
