Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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