i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Randomize
