Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
This house was built for laser tag.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
