dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
