Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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