where am i from again
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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