I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
