He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I enjoy the company of your penis
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